i was on a field trip
and the next thing i knew
i was locked in the men's room
with a bunch of children
they'd all been fed dollar draft and nickel shots
and were beating each other furiously
about the face and hands
till their fingers were all broken
and their shins were all splitted
one of them looked up at me and said
hey faggot why don't you man up?
we're not friends if we're not throwing shit sticks at each other
one day the zookeeper will come
and wash all the animals
i don't even like the house band

and if all i had was a little rock
i'd throw it in a lake
not give a second thought
if all i had was a piece of paper
write you a little note
nail it to your headboard
if all i had was a pair of scissors
go to your favourite thrift store
cut off all the labels

if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had

and if all i had was a giant stone
leave it on the front lawn
take the damn thing for granted
and if all i had was a cardboard box
i'd cut out a hole
so i would have a window

if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
the winner is you

rock paper scissors
rock paper scissors
rock paper scissors
rock paper scissors
rock paper scissors
rock paper scissors
rock paper scissors
rock rock rock rock

if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
if all i had
the winner is you